For me, 2018 was a very good, terrible horrible year.
Oh sure, some years are better than others, but this one was shitastic.
Our daughter married a wonderful guy and we were able to spend quality time with our funny, beautiful granddaughter.
We took a month-long road trip and spent time with our son in Vancouver, Canada, with family in Monterey and four days in our favorite city, San Francisco.
Life was good- until it wasn't.
My brother-in-law finally succumbed to a long illness and my father was diagnosed with the same brain disease that took John McCain. We lost another close family member in the fall unexpectedly and of course...
My healthy, happy husband died suddenly of a massive heart attack.
He took a walk on the beach and came home and collapsed on the couch.
He was, handsome even in death.
Of course, this doesn't make it any better for me- losing my favorite person in the world, my best friend and lover.
I'm dealing with it- because what other choice do I have? Mentally I am strong as hell, but over the last month, my body has rebelled and I've been as sick as I have ever been- as much as I tried to deny it.
But again, you move forward.
I am on a month-long road trip to try and get my inspiration and my sanity back. So far, I've seen some lovely scenery and the inside of an ER in Moab, Utah.
My darling husband would want me to go forward and be brave and happy. I'm going to do my goddamn best because I still have my family and friends and hopefully, 2019 with be kinder to us.
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
The Wandering Widow-Day 3
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Driving the Grief Highway
I don't have my motorhome anymore nor do I have my husband, but I took a road trip anyway.
It made me happy. I put on his favorite songs and continued my drive the next morning, up and over winding highway 1 through Big Sur. It made me happy.
I arrived in Monterey to stay with family. It made me happy.
Day three the grief wave hit and the darkness arrived. It made me sad. This is my life now.
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