Monday, March 18, 2019

I'm Over the First Big Hump...

What hump?

 Sorry, I couln't resist. 

So, I somehow survived the six-month mark, but it wasn't easy. The damn grief wave snuck up behind me and tossed me to the floor.

 It was ugly, you didn't miss anything.
 Image result for GRIEF WAVE

But guess what? The world didn't stop, my heart didn't forget to keep beating, and my kids made it through the day.

People might say, "Oh, six months, you should be fine now!"

I would say back to them, "You don't get to tell me how to grieve." Maybe not in those polite words exactly, but I would try my best.

But, good news; I am having longer bouts of happiness. I travel as much as I can. I work as much as I can. I love where and whom I live with, and I see friends (when they remember I am still here...) as much as I can.

My family has been rock-solid and have stood by me- even when I might not be the nicest/happiest person.

But hey, summer is coming, the grand-baby is growing and life, as they say...

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Sunday, January 27, 2019

The Wandering Widow- Day 28

The party's over.

Today is my last day on the road, and it's also the last day of my 'Weekend at Debbie's.'

It's going to take some time to process this month-long journey- traveling, discovering new places, people and ideas. My confidence is coming back and I can thank my husband for giving it to me in the first place- he was the 'King of confidence."

I know that he would be so proud of me for traveling down this road alone, although I had so many friends and family cheering me on that I wasn't really alone.

Thank you for following me down the road-although my journey isn't even close to being over.


Saturday, January 26, 2019

The Wandering Widow- Day 27

I haven't laughed this much since August 2018. 

My trip is ending in Palm Springs with friends from 5th grade.

We spent all of Friday laughing and eating and drinking and laughing and it felt so damn good.

Ralph made me laugh every day. In fact, I have been told more than once by neighbors that we were not a noisy couple, but they could always hear me laughing. He made me laugh.

Now, my friends, my family, and my baby granddaughter will be the ones who make me laugh.

And myself. I laugh at myself all the time and I will continue to do so.

 In the meantime, I have one more night with these eclectic ladies, so if you hear us laughing, you are welcome.


Friday, January 25, 2019

The Wandering Widow- Day 26

Just the facts, ma'am.

Did you know… 800,000 people are widowed each year?

Did you know… 700,000 of those are women?

Did you know… The average age of widowhood is 55, and 75 percent of women will be widowed by age 56? 

I guess I am getting back into reporter mode with these statistics, but also because on Thursday I spent time with three lovely women- who all happen to be widows.

This is Joy, and her name suits her, and somehow she has remained as joyful and she could be after the death of her husband.

This gal I have known since she was three-years-old and we will always remain friends. (Even when politics get in the way.)

We met this lovely woman in Chelan, WA and Ralph helped her go through her husband's personal belongings when it was too difficult for her to do by herself. She has been an advisor to me since September.

Yet, it's not been an easy road for any of them.
Did you know… most widows lose 75% of their support base when their spouse dies?

 Did you know… after 3 – 4 months most of the remaining support fades for a widow?

These are the cold, hard facts. It's hard to even think this could happen to you, but if it does, know you will survive.

These women did. I did.

We are warriors. Do not f**k with us.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

The Wandering Widow- Day 25

When in Sedona...

I had a massage with hot stones.

I hiked to spiritual vortexes- the powerful energy centers of the Southwest.

I hiked to a few awesome places to view massive red rocks that looked like penises sticking out of the mountains. (Just me?)

I had my chakras cleansed. (The jury is still out on that one. More like Chakra Conned.)

I bought a lot of salad at Whole Foods. (It's a phase.)

I talked to my new favorite psychic and my husband. ( Don't even question this one.) 

I relived memories of our time here in Walter (our RV)
when RR found a special place for us to sunbath nude...

When in Sedona.


Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Monday, January 21, 2019

The Wandering Widow- Day 23

There is some weird ju-ju that follows me on the highway from Santa Fe to Sedona.

Today started out innocent enough with a lovely sunrise and no traffic. Once I hit the  Gallup, NM area (the murder capital of New Mexico) things started to go, er, south.

The winds kicked up to high gear- 70 mph the news just informed me. Trucks were serpenting all over the freeway, emergency lights flashing. Red sand was flying and the tumbleweeds were tumbling right at me.

I white-knuckled it for more than 100 miles, and in Arizona, it started to rain- for about 10 seconds- when it turned to snow.

I thought I was going to finally have to put on my chains- in Arizona!

I made my way down Oak Creek Canyon and to my swanky hotel suite in Sedona. (Thanks, Expedia.)

Last time I made that drive I was an invalid passenger and it was a week after my fall/surgery on my wrist/elbow. I was a mess- high on Oxycodone and freaked about every bump in the road.

My poor husband was as patient as he could be, but we had an argument in a parking lot in Albuquerque, (my fault) a blow-out outside Gallup, stuck on the train tracks (my fault) when, exasperated, he sent me to the back of the RV to nap- sans seatbelt-in my bed.

Later, he pulled into a nice, quiet campground, took me for a walk, sang to me and later helped me shower and washed my hair.

I felt lucky when I pulled into Sedona today. I didn't realize it two years ago, but back then, I was even luckier.